I think I woke up inside an episode of The Twilight Zone. I’m up early and ready to go. I’m rested and ready for the long haul home. I have to laugh for a minute because Jen and I were looking at her itinerary and realized that she was leaving a whole day ahead of me and I was still going to beat her home! I’m sure she didn’t experience the same crap that I did though.
I checked in at the International counter for Air New Zealand. Of course the itinerary tells me to be there 2 hours in advance. It’s 0340 and I’m waiting second in line to check in. At 0400 they open the counter and inform me that I need to check in at the domestic counter. Funny, I believe the HUGE sign at the entrance of this line said to check in here if your flight’s final destination was an international location. I lug all my crap over to the empty domestic counter with the same sign that I saw at the last counter telling me that I need to check in at the International counter. Finally, I run into “Jane” who is kind enough to tell me that I need to be at the International counter but when I ask if she’s sure…really sure she makes a call and stands corrected. I need to be at the domestic check in. Too bad it’s not open…I have another 30 minutes to wait. I left my cart in the #1 position in line and sat down with my book. At exactly 0430, a mad dash of Japanese tourists swarm the area and thank God my cart is #1!! Oh…if you only knew how it felt to see all these Japanese tourists. I’m going home and these are my travel companions. Get the cameras and tri-pods out…we’re going home!
So, Jane is nice enough to take care of me. I have 3 bags to check and 1 carry on. Jane asks me to put my bags on the scale behind me so I oblige. I haven’t weighed my bags but I’m pretty sure I’m within my limit. I have excess baggage on my military orders so I figure NO BIG DEAL, if I have to pay for the extra bag I’ll get reimbursed…NO BIG DEAL. So one by one I throw my bags on the scale. The sign on the scale says bags must be below 20 kg. For those of you that are doing the math…let me make it easy. That’s 44.09 lbs. Being the big over packer, I am thrilled (and proud) when each one of my bags makes the cut just below 20 kgs!! I look over and Jane is doing some calculations and has this odd look on her face. I ask if there is a problem and she informs me that because I’m flying to Asia my baggage limit is 20 kgs. I tell her, “OK I’m good each of my bags are 20 kgs or below”. “No” she says “20 kgs TOTAL checked baggage”. A quick calculation in my head tells me I’m OVER my limit by 40 kgs give or take an ounce or two. So…OK, I’ve got excess baggage on my orders…NO BIG DEAL. Tell me how much and I’ll get it reimbursed. At this time, I get information from Jane that I really don’t want to hear again. I am told that there is a 35 Kiwi PER kg charge on excess baggage. This means…I have to pay 1,400 Kiwi to get all my shit home!!!! All the SHIT that is mostly military uniforms and crap that I had to bring along with me on this excursion!! I ask her to clarify and clarify AGAIN. It’s true…she shows me all the documentation and this is really happening!! By the way, thank God for a good exchange rate; 1400 Kiwi is about 750 US dollars…lucky break right?! Holy crap…what do I do! By this time, the plane leaves in one hour! Like I said, what do you do? It’s not like I could just leave it behind (although it was tempting). Cha-ching…it’s billed to my government credit card…I’ll fight tooth and nail to get this back but the fact of the matter is…I’m not so sure I’ll get it. As Jan and I are frantically running around trying to get all this figured out and charging my card I’m hoping that at some point she’ll look into my dark brown puppy dog eyes and feel sorry for me. Guess they don’t work on those of the female persuasion…no such luck. Cha-ching…my credit card is charged and I run to the gate to make my flight! In the midst of all this charging I keep asking Jane questions…I just don’t get it. I’ve never heard of this! EVER!! I finally understand that if my plane would’ve been routed thru the U.S. this wouldn’t be an issue at all. If I was being routed through the U.S. I would incur a small excess baggage fee of $100 for my extra bag that I was checking. If I would’ve known prior to one hour before my flight…I would’ve changed my flight to Hawaii or California!!
Air New Zealand planes are beautiful…for the first time in my life I was sitting in coach and had enough room in front of me to be quite comfortable. My knees didn’t hit the back of the seat. I had my own TV screen. The bonus was that I could flip through about 40 movies, music and games. I could watch whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. This makes up for the 1,400 Kiwi that I just got screwed out of!! Not really…but it was nice. The bonus was that I had a seat next to me that was empty! YAY! The flight was great…11 hours of watching movies and sleeping. By the way…Mama Mia was great!! I reminisced of my trip to London where I met my friend Lon. We got to watch Mama Mia on stage and danced non-stop in our seats to the hits of ABBA. Great memories…God I miss Europe!! I tapped my feet non-stop and enjoyed the movie immensely. I guess I should mention my trip to Auckland. It was nice as well…however, once again in the Twilight Zone. The Auckland airport was interesting to maneuver…I couldn’t help but think about Cole and all his world travels alone. The kid has traveled alone and maneuvered many an international airport without even blinking an eye. I found myself lost and asking for directions in a country where everyone speaks English!! Makes a Mom proud when she knows that her 15 year old can do this alone in countries that don't speak English. So back to my trip…the other nice perk of Air New Zealand is the free…yes FREE drinks. A Mimosa for breakfast, wine with dinner. FREE. Yum!! Life is good! The other movie I got to see was WALL-E. It was OK…not my favorite PIXAR film but good.
Returning to Japan hits home when we arrive in Osaka. I don’t have much of a layover so I run thru customs, grab my bags, go to the ANA counter to check in. The kind little Japanese girl says “I’m solly, you wirr have to pay fol youl extla bag”. Just in case you are wondering…I didn’t misspell her words. This is “Engrish”. This is how they speak in Japan. Wercome home..Tlacey…wercome home! So just in case you didn’t catch that. The kind little Japanese girl behind the counter tells me she’s sorry, I’ll have to pay AGAIN for my excess bags. In the nicest tone I can possibly muster at this point…I tell her NO WAY!! I quickly whip out a receipt in which I was charged 1,400 Kiwi and every bit of documentation I can find to tell her NO WAY will I pay again! If I have to walk and swim back to Okinawa I will! She’s “so solly” and shuffles over to the supervisor to ask her opinion. She returns with good news…my dues are paid. I can proceed on to my next destination without paying another thousand Yen. I get to my gate…plenty of time to relax and read. Yes…Mom…I’m almost halfway finished with that THIRD book!
It’s kind of funny. I don’t mind living in Japan. It’s really not all that bad. Cole loves it here…he loves the base and his friends. I don’t think he really sees as much as I do when I travel. I can’t honestly say that I’m thrilled to return home. I remember when I was returning to Italy…I just couldn’t wait to get home. I missed it when I was gone. It was ‘home’. I’m returning to Japan this time to Cole…this is the biggest benefit. At work, the whole Squadron is a new one; there aren’t many people left from when I left. My greatest friends…Mikki, Lisa…have gone. They won’t be there…when I walk into work; people will look at me and go “welcome to Okinawa” as if I’m the new girl.
I digress…so I get on the plane headed for Okinawa. The final leg of my trip. I laugh as I stand in line with the Japanese tour group from Christchurch. I laugh as I listen to the flight attendants announce “thank you for frying with ANA” and “the Captain expects tulburence so the fasten seat bert sign wirr lemain arruminated”…”prease lemain seated”. Home…I’m almost there.
We touched down on time…early actually. My luggage arrives surprising enough. My biggest disappointment is that Cole isn’t even here to welcome me home! Thank goodness Autumn is there to pick me up. Cole was asleep when she went to pick him up…I guess it’s no big deal that Mom is home. I guess I’m gone a lot…it’s no big deal anymore. I’m home by 2200…Cole welcomes me at the door. He’s taller than me now…he has grown. It’s good to see him...I’ve missed him and wish he could’ve been in Antarctica with me. It’s his kind of place…snow, ice, snowboarding. Tonight (Saturday) when I write this…he babysits next door. Mom always says that your kids will disappoint you. I’m a little sad that he wasn’t there…but he’s a teenager. I guess that’s what happens. I wasn’t gone that long really…this was nothing compared to my Iraq deployment. I guess to me this one seemed so much longer…
I checked in at the International counter for Air New Zealand. Of course the itinerary tells me to be there 2 hours in advance. It’s 0340 and I’m waiting second in line to check in. At 0400 they open the counter and inform me that I need to check in at the domestic counter. Funny, I believe the HUGE sign at the entrance of this line said to check in here if your flight’s final destination was an international location. I lug all my crap over to the empty domestic counter with the same sign that I saw at the last counter telling me that I need to check in at the International counter. Finally, I run into “Jane” who is kind enough to tell me that I need to be at the International counter but when I ask if she’s sure…really sure she makes a call and stands corrected. I need to be at the domestic check in. Too bad it’s not open…I have another 30 minutes to wait. I left my cart in the #1 position in line and sat down with my book. At exactly 0430, a mad dash of Japanese tourists swarm the area and thank God my cart is #1!! Oh…if you only knew how it felt to see all these Japanese tourists. I’m going home and these are my travel companions. Get the cameras and tri-pods out…we’re going home!
So, Jane is nice enough to take care of me. I have 3 bags to check and 1 carry on. Jane asks me to put my bags on the scale behind me so I oblige. I haven’t weighed my bags but I’m pretty sure I’m within my limit. I have excess baggage on my military orders so I figure NO BIG DEAL, if I have to pay for the extra bag I’ll get reimbursed…NO BIG DEAL. So one by one I throw my bags on the scale. The sign on the scale says bags must be below 20 kg. For those of you that are doing the math…let me make it easy. That’s 44.09 lbs. Being the big over packer, I am thrilled (and proud) when each one of my bags makes the cut just below 20 kgs!! I look over and Jane is doing some calculations and has this odd look on her face. I ask if there is a problem and she informs me that because I’m flying to Asia my baggage limit is 20 kgs. I tell her, “OK I’m good each of my bags are 20 kgs or below”. “No” she says “20 kgs TOTAL checked baggage”. A quick calculation in my head tells me I’m OVER my limit by 40 kgs give or take an ounce or two. So…OK, I’ve got excess baggage on my orders…NO BIG DEAL. Tell me how much and I’ll get it reimbursed. At this time, I get information from Jane that I really don’t want to hear again. I am told that there is a 35 Kiwi PER kg charge on excess baggage. This means…I have to pay 1,400 Kiwi to get all my shit home!!!! All the SHIT that is mostly military uniforms and crap that I had to bring along with me on this excursion!! I ask her to clarify and clarify AGAIN. It’s true…she shows me all the documentation and this is really happening!! By the way, thank God for a good exchange rate; 1400 Kiwi is about 750 US dollars…lucky break right?! Holy crap…what do I do! By this time, the plane leaves in one hour! Like I said, what do you do? It’s not like I could just leave it behind (although it was tempting). Cha-ching…it’s billed to my government credit card…I’ll fight tooth and nail to get this back but the fact of the matter is…I’m not so sure I’ll get it. As Jan and I are frantically running around trying to get all this figured out and charging my card I’m hoping that at some point she’ll look into my dark brown puppy dog eyes and feel sorry for me. Guess they don’t work on those of the female persuasion…no such luck. Cha-ching…my credit card is charged and I run to the gate to make my flight! In the midst of all this charging I keep asking Jane questions…I just don’t get it. I’ve never heard of this! EVER!! I finally understand that if my plane would’ve been routed thru the U.S. this wouldn’t be an issue at all. If I was being routed through the U.S. I would incur a small excess baggage fee of $100 for my extra bag that I was checking. If I would’ve known prior to one hour before my flight…I would’ve changed my flight to Hawaii or California!!
Air New Zealand planes are beautiful…for the first time in my life I was sitting in coach and had enough room in front of me to be quite comfortable. My knees didn’t hit the back of the seat. I had my own TV screen. The bonus was that I could flip through about 40 movies, music and games. I could watch whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. This makes up for the 1,400 Kiwi that I just got screwed out of!! Not really…but it was nice. The bonus was that I had a seat next to me that was empty! YAY! The flight was great…11 hours of watching movies and sleeping. By the way…Mama Mia was great!! I reminisced of my trip to London where I met my friend Lon. We got to watch Mama Mia on stage and danced non-stop in our seats to the hits of ABBA. Great memories…God I miss Europe!! I tapped my feet non-stop and enjoyed the movie immensely. I guess I should mention my trip to Auckland. It was nice as well…however, once again in the Twilight Zone. The Auckland airport was interesting to maneuver…I couldn’t help but think about Cole and all his world travels alone. The kid has traveled alone and maneuvered many an international airport without even blinking an eye. I found myself lost and asking for directions in a country where everyone speaks English!! Makes a Mom proud when she knows that her 15 year old can do this alone in countries that don't speak English. So back to my trip…the other nice perk of Air New Zealand is the free…yes FREE drinks. A Mimosa for breakfast, wine with dinner. FREE. Yum!! Life is good! The other movie I got to see was WALL-E. It was OK…not my favorite PIXAR film but good.
Returning to Japan hits home when we arrive in Osaka. I don’t have much of a layover so I run thru customs, grab my bags, go to the ANA counter to check in. The kind little Japanese girl says “I’m solly, you wirr have to pay fol youl extla bag”. Just in case you are wondering…I didn’t misspell her words. This is “Engrish”. This is how they speak in Japan. Wercome home..Tlacey…wercome home! So just in case you didn’t catch that. The kind little Japanese girl behind the counter tells me she’s sorry, I’ll have to pay AGAIN for my excess bags. In the nicest tone I can possibly muster at this point…I tell her NO WAY!! I quickly whip out a receipt in which I was charged 1,400 Kiwi and every bit of documentation I can find to tell her NO WAY will I pay again! If I have to walk and swim back to Okinawa I will! She’s “so solly” and shuffles over to the supervisor to ask her opinion. She returns with good news…my dues are paid. I can proceed on to my next destination without paying another thousand Yen. I get to my gate…plenty of time to relax and read. Yes…Mom…I’m almost halfway finished with that THIRD book!
It’s kind of funny. I don’t mind living in Japan. It’s really not all that bad. Cole loves it here…he loves the base and his friends. I don’t think he really sees as much as I do when I travel. I can’t honestly say that I’m thrilled to return home. I remember when I was returning to Italy…I just couldn’t wait to get home. I missed it when I was gone. It was ‘home’. I’m returning to Japan this time to Cole…this is the biggest benefit. At work, the whole Squadron is a new one; there aren’t many people left from when I left. My greatest friends…Mikki, Lisa…have gone. They won’t be there…when I walk into work; people will look at me and go “welcome to Okinawa” as if I’m the new girl.
I digress…so I get on the plane headed for Okinawa. The final leg of my trip. I laugh as I stand in line with the Japanese tour group from Christchurch. I laugh as I listen to the flight attendants announce “thank you for frying with ANA” and “the Captain expects tulburence so the fasten seat bert sign wirr lemain arruminated”…”prease lemain seated”. Home…I’m almost there.
We touched down on time…early actually. My luggage arrives surprising enough. My biggest disappointment is that Cole isn’t even here to welcome me home! Thank goodness Autumn is there to pick me up. Cole was asleep when she went to pick him up…I guess it’s no big deal that Mom is home. I guess I’m gone a lot…it’s no big deal anymore. I’m home by 2200…Cole welcomes me at the door. He’s taller than me now…he has grown. It’s good to see him...I’ve missed him and wish he could’ve been in Antarctica with me. It’s his kind of place…snow, ice, snowboarding. Tonight (Saturday) when I write this…he babysits next door. Mom always says that your kids will disappoint you. I’m a little sad that he wasn’t there…but he’s a teenager. I guess that’s what happens. I wasn’t gone that long really…this was nothing compared to my Iraq deployment. I guess to me this one seemed so much longer…
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