A night at the Roxbury

I've decided to write about a night at the O'Club that I experienced last Friday. The O'Club has never been my favorite place to go. I go in solidarity to my co-workers for the occasional "nurses meeting". I call this blog entry "A night at the Roxbury" because of the horrible commercial that is on AFN. The Enlisted Club has this great commercial with club music and a crowded dance floor with everyone enjoying a nightclub kind of night of fun, carefree, happiness. The O'Club has this horrible commerical of 4 dorky individuals standing at the bar inside the O'Club. By the way, they are the ONLY 4 individuals in the whole bar. They are all doing the ridiculous "Night at the Roxbury" head bob and the camera pans in and out as they do this at different locations in the empty bar. It's quite embarrasing...goes to show that the "Os" don't have as much fun as the "Es". I will admit, I have had good nights at the O'Club...it's not ALWAYS a horrible experience. Tonight was a familiar experience that I'm used to so I'll share and open myself up to a day in the life of a 30-something single mother in a world of 20-something single men...pilots...with egos that expand way beyond the walls of the O'Club.

I entered the O'Club tonight and saw the funniest thing. It was Santa Claus!!! Seriously...this guy looked like Santa! Big round belly, long white hair, long white beard, rosy cheeks...dressed in Island attire. Santa Claus had dipped into the Eggnog a bit much tonight and his 2 Elves (friends) were attempting to get him out of the club. Thank God for the couch that sits just outside the O'Club...Santa was bigger than his 2 Elves and they needed a break!! He was like rolling a bowl full of jelly down a lopsided hill.

Inside the club was something you don't see very often. It was packed full! Tonight it was mainly Marines...all of them having a great time. Many of them were ending their temporary duty on Okinawa and were headed back home to mainland Japan on Saturday. What makes this night a typical night in my life here on Okinawa is going to the Club with my single friends. As we stand in the midst of a million men...with a ratio of 10 men to every 1 woman. They all flock to my single friends...chatting them up, picking up on conversations from the weekend before. I typically get lost in the crowd as if I'm not even standing there. Tonight a young pilot comes up to me and wants me to dance. I oblige and we go dance...on numerous occasions...he finds me and we dance. Whatever...good fun and it gets me away from the conversations that are not happening. Well, later in the evening this same guy starts talking about my friend...how he is in love with her and wants to get to know her. So...I say "then why aren't you talking to her??", "why don't you ask her to dance?", "go...get over there...get her number". His response?? "I'm afraid she'll turn me down". So I say..."you asked me? you can surely ask her". His response? "Well, it didn't bother me if you turned me down". WTF??? WOW...great for a girl's ego!! I'm too chicken to ask her because she may turn me down...but this one?? Who cares...if she turns me down I can handle that?! Such a typical story in my life...why do I do this to myself?

OK...so on to better things. As we stand and talk another guy comes up and starts talking to us. He's dressed in civilian clothes (I say that because most of the pilots show up in their flight suits). Anyway, so he is dressed in civilian clothes which usually means he's not a pilot. I should correct myself. This usually means he's not a FIGHTER pilot. The fighter pilots tend to show up in their flight suits and Friday fun patches. All other officers..."heavy pilots" (cargo aircraft type pilots), comm officers, intel officers etc etc come to the club in their civilian clothes. So...this guy is in civilian clothes and he is claiming to be a "Cardiothoracic Surgeon". We aren't buying it...first of all he says he's not stationed here. He claims that he is here on temporary duty with the Navy. Anyone who knows the hospital knows that there is no reason for a Cardiothoracic Surgeon to be studying here. It's not a huge hospital...definitely not a teaching hospital. As a Flight Nurse here...I know that we usually are flying these type patients out of here and if they are bad enough they are coming from the Japanese hospital. So...this guy starts throwing out names of Physicians that he's studied with, done surgery with and the medical school he attended. He continues on trying his darndest to get us to believe that he is a surgeon. We are all just listening...allowing him to keep going. He comes and goes out of our conversation, always coming back to his status as a Cardiothoracic surgeon and attempting to make us believe him. Knowing that we are not buying it, he then starts to talk about doing an appendectomy with some famous Physician. As he is talking about it, he takes his finger and makes a slicing motion down the left side of my abdomen...starting from about the middle of my rib cage down to about belly button range. Hmmm...funny that a Cardiothoracic Surgeon...one that has studied with all these great surgeons doesn't seem to know the location of the appendix. So...he tries so hard to come out of this one. Oh...you were facing me and I got messed up...I've been drinking etc etc. SO...OK, you say you are a Cardiothoracic Surgeon. A simple question..."how many chambers are in the heart?" and "what are they?". A blank stare...a "hold on a minute" and The GREAT Cardiothoracic Surgeon has to go "phone a friend"!!! He returns with his answer...the correct answer and adds the circulation for good measure! STILL, he continues to try so hard to get us to believe this story. Too bad...it just doesn't fly and he has to fess up that he is just a pilot...an F-18 pilot. I'll have to admit...he was good entertainment for my evening at the Roxbury and later on he proved to be quite useful as I was approached while waiting for a cab. A very strange guy that I had noticed inside the bar approached me as I was waiting for a cab. This guy walked up behind me and told me he "had a room next door" and "wanted me to go next door with him". I, of course, told him to bug off but he stood there right behind me, staring at me and not giving up on his quest. I don't usually get weirded out by this stuff but this guy really gave me the creeps!! The great cardiothoracic surgeon just so happened to have heard this guy and quickly came to my rescue. Looping his arm around mine and saying a few words that made it sound like we were together. The guy still stood there...still staring...still requesting my presence next door. Even the cardiothoracic surgeon was spooked by him and stood with me until I was inside a cab and driving off. I looked back to see the guy finally walking away.

So...the cardiothoracic surgeon is long gone...he has returned to mainland. Thank you for the evening's entertainment and saving me in the end. Young pilot...I hope that you get the nerve to call my friend and so ends another night at the Roxbury. I'll probably return again...but I'll need a break for awhile!!